"Hey, it's really hot out here," Lindsay said.
"And we didn't eat any lunch. You know you get cranky if you haven't eaten."
"I do not get cranky. It's just this god damn shovel won't work."
"I got an idea. Let's go try Hansen's, then you can come back and mess with that hole some more."
That's what she said. Literally. You have seen pictures of Hansen's here and on other websites. Or maybe you have driven by or are a long time customer, so you know the building is a solid, Masonic temple of culinary mastery. We got to Hansen's by 1:30 and stood in line.
Luckily, in front of us was a know-it-all who wanted to impress his out of town guests by going over the rules of Hansen's. And rules about life. "You can't get more than one flavor on your first visit, Felix. Secondly, Ashley is working the ice machine, so don't make me look like an idiot. Thirdly, you see this scab? It's from John Howard, that punk in middle school. He is probably in prison now. He put a cigarette out on my thumb in seventh grade... My favorite flavor? Cream of chocolate. But I hear chocolate mint is new, so that is gonna be my new favorite."
Now you know the rules of Hansen's. Our orders were straightforward - satsuma hot rod and a cream of coconut hot rod. A hot rod denotes that the sno-ball has been stuffed with vanilla ice cream. Lindsay claimed her coconut confection supreme. While I found it very good, I preferred the tart/cream combo of mine.
But no matter, as it would seem impossible for a bad flavor to exist at Hansen's. The syrup is key. At other stands in town, the syrup makes your bones rattle and sugar levels spike. At Hansen's the syrup loads in flavor and punch without being syrupy. The shaved ice has a consistency that more resembles actual snow than snow itself. The prices are higher than your neighborhood stand and the wait longer, but there is absolutely no better sno-ball in the city than Hansen's. Shoot, there may be no better dining experience in the city than Hansen's on a hot day.
Hansen's - Eagle.